Jem and the Hollygrams

My Life According to Jem

2006-05-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

So call me crazy, but I've had this theory ( that I've shared liberally....to the dismay of my friends) that women exposed to Jem and the Holograms may have relationship and fashion angst. Don't get me wrong, I love the show to death...( I pity the fool who's never watched Jem) but I've seen a pattern in the lives of fellow Jem followers. Here are just a few:

1) Attracted to Rios- We know how to find the lovable but confused types. Yes, watching the show has been a revelation for me. Jem/Jerrica should have kicked his ass to the curb the minute he couldn't figure out that teasing your hair does not mean you're a different person!! As a twin, I don't take to kindly to the .." but you look a like " defense....so Rio would be hitting the curb in my book. However, due to an early addiction to the show "Mr.Confused brother with purple hair and no job" is oddly attractive. Jem had me moving from Rio to a Riot ( yea Riot was the bad boy with flair...more on him later) for a long time....o the shame and agony of it all.

2) Split personalities- Jem fans see nothing wrong with living a double life, Jerrica by day, Jem by night. Crazy to some..perfectly sane to a true Jem fan. Although most of us aren't lucky enough to have a Synergy in our lives to justify talking to ourselves on a regular basis... somehow we make do. I mean its hard to explain craziness half the time, why not place the blame where it truly belongs.... Yes, with the wild hair, mini-skirt wearing, purple hair obssesed doppelganger... I mean its certainly not Jerrica's fault...and it shouldn't be yours either. Make sure your personalities work for you, remember your mantra " What would Jerrica/Jem Do?" Now I wonder, who am I today...... Jem/Jerrica?....The guy with the purple hair may have some answers for me...

3) Fascination with girl groups- "Me and my friends are Jem girls!" yea the theme song that defined me. That song has probably been the soundtrack to many a 'mis'adventure, see Crispy's post for clarification. I've noticed Jem fans have long honoured the tradition of casting themselves in various Jem roles (no one wanted to be Pizzazz....hmm I wonder why?) and therefore were willing to buy into Jem ripoffs aka Pussycathos(dolls), Spice girls etc. You'll spot a Jem fan at a Bangles, Banarama, WilsonPhilips concert...I kid you not. I'd be willing to bet my left pinky toe that a cover band for Jem today would have old broads like myself cutting a bitch for tickets. I'm disturbed that kids born after 1986 have no concept or recollection of this show....we're absolutely doomed!4) Embraces Dysfunction ( aka will go Pizzazz on your ass occasionally)
We've all got a little Pizzazz in us, some more than others. I think Pizzazz was misunderstood and needed the love or a good man or therapist to work through her anger issues. Having said that, that bitch was a little touched, if you know what I mean. Jem fans will agree that she got the job done and as a result, many of us can now admit to using her model behaviour in our own lives on occassion to get what we want. I mean I've never bitch slapped a record exec or thrown an archrival's boyfriend into a pole....but Pizzazz has made me see ...its ok to do that....when you really need to get something. Who cares if its a bit crazy......you need that record deal, ( H&M top, bus ticket, last chicken wing, insert earth shattering need of choice).
As a true Jem fan, I say Pizzazz inspires us all to "embrace the crazy in us and unleash only when necessary...aka every other week or when boyfriend is getting too comfortable.

Stay Tuned for More Jem Fan Characteristics!

Dallas vs. Dynasty

2006-05-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

Alexis Carrington vs Sue Ellen Ewing in a death match....who would win? This question has caused me many a sleepless night (that and waiting for Rich to post ANTM recaps) but I digress... I just don't know whose level of evil, drunken, cheating, backstabbing ways I admire more.
There was a collective gasp around the world with the news that Jennifer Lopez will be playing Sue Ellen in the Dallas remake ....its quite apparent that the long suffering essence of Sue Ellen will not be given full justice by "my love don't cost a thing J.(hell no)LO. I know that J.R. Ewing would never stand for the latina perpetrator. Linda Gray needs to stab a bitch for ruining her special kind of love for JR.

So far the Dallas Movie Casts:
Shirley MacLaine as Miss Ellie, Luke Wilson as Bobby Ewing, John Travolta ( lord have mercy/ I meant O' Hubbard) as J. R. Ewing, J-Lo as Sue Ellen, and Jessica Simpson ( hell to the nah) as Lucy Ewing. Someone please hold my hair while I puke!

And not to be out done, could Dynasty be announcing a remake of their own? What would life be without bitches like Alexis Carrington to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Lets see who Joan Collins ( oops, I mean Alexis) will marry, poison, throw into a pool for her part in the more than likely movie remake.

I haven't decided who's the baddest bitch yet, so for now I'll roll with Linda and Alexis to my Gangsta Bitches reunion.

No more Pussys

2006-05-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

I have to say that I would rather see a fake cartoon band from the 80s with a hit record any day ...over them damn PussyCatHos.

If your song titles (StickWitU and Don't Cha- I smell Grammy material here) are ripped from your msn convos ...you shouldn't be on the charts! you shouldn't pass go! Someone please tell me why these American Idol/ANTM/Surreal Life ( insert reality show of choice) rejects are still on the radio. I'm afraid of what I'm about to type...but Britney....come back..step away from the Impregnator and put out another "Toxic." Anything would be better than hearing "Stickwitu" on my R&B Launch Playlist. Yea, I'm in the process of pressing charges against Launch for cruel and unusual punishment. When I win....I'll pay them bitches to stop gnawing at my eardrums.

This is for the Techie in you

2006-05-02T09:52:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of letting or male counterparts have a say we here at Jemnation have invited Optimus Prime to update us on the latest technical gadgets and keep Rio and all our boyfriends occupied. hooray!? Expect more posts from Optimus and the GI JOE clique.

Nintendo Wii?

Wii, pronounced “We”, is the official name for Nintendo’s new upcoming videogame console. Wii promises to revolutionize game play with a motion sensitive controller that responds to your movements and gestures. Basically hold the controller and use it like a fishing rod, use it to beat on virtual drums, or swing it like a baseball bat. Your motions with the controller are what control game play. A very neat idea but will it sell? It’s an uphill battle. With a name like Wii, well many are going to overlook it. Others are going to make fun of the name. Let’s face it; it’s an awful name for a system. Then again names like Google, Blog, Yahoo are horrible names as well.
Read more at http://revolution.nintendo.com/
photos via google images

The world is littered with the bodies of people that tried to stick it to ole J.R. Ewing

2006-04-26T06:20:00.000-07:00

Well in the spirit of our Most Evilest TV Villain , this is a formal request that JLO( Hell no) does not play Sue Ellen in the upcoming Dallas Movie. There has got to be someone with actual acting ablitity who can play this role. Remember kids, Sue Ellen is a tortured soul, a woman who gave as good as she got with arguably one of the most diabolical and charming characters TV has seen. So My peeps you make the choice. SAVE DALLAS. JR NEEDs U. For more on Dallas http://www.ultimatedallas.com/characters/jrquotes.htm
Photos via google images

JEM QUIZ

2006-03-27T16:21:00.000-08:00

Just a little something for the fans

Which Character from Jem and the Holograms Are You?

I really am Jem!
Hey you can take this quiz!

Quizilla

Truly outrageous

2006-03-27T08:40:00.000-08:00

Hey my fellow net-crawlers, My creative juices aren't flowing now (aka the boss is near) but expect something fun... Jemnation is all about entertainment and cartoons of old.

I'm bouncing like the bees
Jerrica

Who should Play Sue Ellen Ewing?
	Jennifer Lopez
	Sela Ward
	Michelle Phiffer
	Jaqueline Smith
	Catherine Zeta Jones

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